Standing at the kitchen sink and
looking out, I began to think about everything Joe and I have faced.
My list of physical challenges seems limitless: Spasmodic Dysphonia,
Carcinoid Cancer, Endometriosis, Gluten Sensitivity, Lactose
Intolerance and a recent possibility of Diabetes. Maybe you picture
me lying in bed and living a miserable life. Quite honestly, that's
exactly how I should be living.
Can I just say that at the beginning of
this diagnosis in 2004 you would have been correct. I was in bed a
lot and in a lot of pain. But today (close to 10 years later) my life
is more full than most people I know. Sure there are occasional down
days but if I managed my time and my diet better they would even be
fewer in between.
That's just my list of physical
challenges. Joe has a list of his own: cirrhosis of the liver,
Hepatitis C, and some other issues that are consequences of the
choices he made for the first 40 years of his life (that's another book altogether). Add our two lists
together and you've got a medical nightmare. Especially when you
throw in the fact that neither of us have health insurance.
Standing at the kitchen sink thinking
about all of our issues, I realized that living this life with a
genuine smile on my face and peace in my heart is not anything I
could do on my own. No one knows me better than I do and I know I'm
not that strong or that wise or that 'together' to maneuver through
this life with victory. Knowing me ~ let me assure you that I would
be a nervous, depressed, anxiety ridden mess.
My goal... my dream for this book was
to be transparent enough to let you know that if God can walk me (an average everyday Christian)
through the 'Big C' diagnosis and everything else in between, He
can walk you (or your loved one) through too. My only purpose in
spending hours and hours tapping on my computer was to give you the same HOPE that I have.
Without hope we have nothing. Without
hope we have no reason to wake up in the morning. Without hope we are
at the fate of this cruel and confusing world.
Our Hope is not in a doctor, not in
chance or luck, not even in a cure or answer to whatever we are
going through. Our Hope is in Someone much bigger, much wiser and all
knowing. Our Hope is in Someone Who is walking by our side and guiding us through
life daily. Our Hope is that He has a plan and a purpose for everything
we go through. Our Hope is that no matter what's going on in our life,
He promises that ALL things work together for the good of those who
are called according to His purposes. Finally, our Hope is that He is no
respecter of persons and if He can walk an ordinary woman named
Brenda Lantini through some of the most difficult situations, He will
walk you through yours too.
When we are able to grasp the infinite
power of the One who created the universe, we realize there's nothing
we can (or will) go through that He doesn't already have an answer
for. Jesus came to this earth to go through the things that He knew
each of us would experience. He came to show us the way. He came to
nail all of our sins to a cross. He came to give us eternal life and
by His stripes we are healed.
Just as the cross is a symbol of
salvation and eternity with Him, the stripes on His back are a symbol
of His promise to heal our body.
As I'm typing an old hymn comes to
mind.
“My hope is
built”
My hope is built on
nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the
sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
When Darkness veils
His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and
stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His
covenant, His blood supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my
soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come
with trumpet sound, O may I then in Him be found!
Dressed in His
righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ the solid
rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is
sinking sand.
I would encourage you to
keep your eyes fixed on Him and know that this life is but a vapor.
Though we may be outwardly wasting away, we can be renewed day by day
in our spirit. What we go through today is temporary and if we
intentionally live God's Way, they will achieve an eternal glory that
far outweighs what we go through in this life.
Our Hope isn't in the things
of this world. We find our hope in the One Who created this world and
Who will welcome us into His presence when our days here are over.
Maybe as you're reading this
you're thinking “I have no idea what you're trying to say. I don't
know this God you are referring to.” If that's you, can I just say
“I'm so glad to meet you and would be honored to introduce you to
this God that I have referred to throughout this book.”
Many people think that a
relationship with God is some type of mystical experience or
something that is only available to the very spiritual people.
That couldn't be farther from the Truth. I would encourage you to NOT
take my word for anything... but to pull out your Bible and begin to
search Him out for yourself.
You will find Him in the
pages of the Bible and the more you read the closer you will begin to
feel His presence. He's not interested in having you 'clean up your
act' before you come to Him. He wants you to come just as you are. He
will clean you up in His time and in His way. We have all
sinned and come short of the glory of God. We all need to be
cleaned up after being in the presence of a holy God.
Don't let anyone stop you
from seeking a relationship with Him. We are all terminal and one day
when you stand before Him (and I promise one day you will), you will
stand there alone. When He asks why you didn't accept His love, you
will have to answer Him by yourself and you won't be able to point a
finger at anyone else. You and you alone are the only one who will be
able to take responsibility for how you lived this life that was
given to you.
Maybe you don't believe in
Heaven or Hell. Maybe your thought is “Why would a loving God send
people to a place as horrible as Hell?” First let me explain God
doesn't send anyone to Hell. That's a choice we each make with
our own free will.
Secondly, God is love
and His love is perfect. There is nothing you can do to make Him love
you MORE... and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you
LESS. While we were yet sinners He loved us. His love is
unconditional. He loves those who lived their lives serving Him and
He loves those who rejected His love and chose to spend eternity
separated from Him.
No one is promised tomorrow
and if you have never asked Christ to come into your life and forgive
you for your sins, let me give you a sample prayer. I say
'sample' because there are no magic words you are about to read.
There is no mandated prayer. He isn't interested in what you
say as much as He is interested in the attitude of your heart. I
would encourage you to read this prayer and then close your eyes and
speak from your heart to the God who has been waiting for you to come
to Him.
Lord Jesus Christ,
I am sorry for the
things I have done wrong in my life. I ask Your forgiveness and now
turn from everything which I know is wrong. Thank You for dying on
the cross to set me free from my sins. Thank You for the stripes You
took to heal my diseases. Please come into my life and fill me with
your Holy Spirit and be with me forever.
Thank you, Lord Jesus.
Amen.
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